He's Just Not That Into Me... Yet.

My kid hates me.  Well, not really.  But sometimes it sure feels that way.

I'm talking about how a child (young ones -- we thankfully have a while before the teen attitude years) will favor one parent over the other, often for months on end. 

That's what's currently going on in our household.  When Mommy and Daddy are standing together in front of our 17-month-old son, Mommy gets the nod every time.

Don't get me wrong.  Our son is a loving, sweet kid who's very generous with hugs and smiles.  It's just that Mommy always gets them first.  Then maybe Daddy gets a little something.  It apparently depends on his mood.

But if he's upset, I'm chump change, like he's not quite even sure who I am.  To paraphrase a joke that my wife and I heard Jerry Seinfeld tell on his current standup tour, the kid will enter a room, see Daddy sitting on a couch, then say to him, "Can I help you with something?" -- like he was just visiting.  The truth hurts!

Believe you me, I've tried to win his attention.  Nothing works, not even Teddy Graham bribes.  He takes them with a smile, then goes back to Mommy.

Our son does toss me a bone at night.  That's when things change.  He prefers Daddy for bedtime.  Or maybe I should say, he doesn't cry at bedtime when he sees me.

We have a bedtime routine with books, but if I want to -- or if things are running late -- I can put him down in about five minutes flat.  So apparently our child picks me when he's ready not to see everyone for a while.

I take this as a point of pride, because basically, it's all I have right now.  I'm the "baby whisperer," or "toddler whisperer."

But of course I know the reality of the situation.  Even though there's a whole lot of yelling when Mommy puts him to bed, we know why.  When Mommy's with him, he doesn't want to go to sleep;  he wants to hang out.

Plus, the nighttime preference is a bit of a curse.  If he wakes up in the middle of the night, it has to be me who goes in to deal with him, for obvious reasons.  If my wife walked in there, he'd start setting up shop for playtime, asking for milk and some toys.

My wife and I consider this a kind of payback, for all those wee-hour feedings she had to handle for both our children when they were infants.  She definitely put in her time, so now it's my turn.

Full disclosure:  I've been the "chosen one" before.  The tables were turned when our daughter was about the same age our son is now.  She's 4 years old, but for nearly a year back then, she was indeed "Daddy's Girl."  It felt good -- real good -- although I had sympathy for my wife, who had to handle the rejection.

But that was then.  This is now.  I need that kid to bond with his Dad.  Then again, with two children constantly racing around the home, maybe I should enjoy the break.


Do you feel like you've bonded with your child?